Everyone's A Poet

Completely unrelated photo I know...but it's funny and the poem pictures were rubbish man!

Poems.

Poems.

Poems.

Umm yes, so poems.

What can I say? I’m sure you are sat at your computer, thinking of wonderful romantic ways of wooing the women and OF COURSE! It is so simple! A poem! Yes the women will be throwing their panties at you once you copy and paste some badly selected rhyming shit into their inbox. Sorted. Now sit back and watch that pussy role in, girls are suckers for romance right? NO. NO. NO!

Naïve women will perhaps get a flutter in their tummy or somewhere downstairs reading a poem but honestly in my opinion there is no personal touch. Maybe if you include my name, add something from my profile, WRITE IT YOURSELF, then who knows?

Poems are so awkward. AWKWARD. Two weeks ago a friend shared some of his poems AND the inspiration behind them with me…it took all my willpower to hold in my laughter…I managed an “awww how lovely” before I shoved wine into my face…I was praying he wouldn’t mention them again but he continued and attempted to ask me questions…my head was screaming "don’t laugh! And why did you choose wine? Wine is completely the wrong drink! You should have known! You stupid heartless immature child! There is only so long you can gulp down wine without wanting to become a little vomcano!"…thankfully I finished my glass, leapt to my feet and declared “oh I am out of wine, I shall go get us another bottle! Why don’t you show her *pointing at my friend* your poems?” The look on her face was amazing, something out of a cartoon when a piano is about to fall on your face; oh yes we were out in a group…I know…the other people at the table had all turned away and left me to deal with the wannabe poet but oh no bitches! It’s your turn now muahahahaa!!!!! Luckily the other guy with us told him to put his poems away and stop ruining the banter…yes so poems are so awkwardly awful for the every situation…I feel I have to admit that I slept with poem dude later that night...but that was a completely drunken douche of a decision and was definitely in spite of the poems than because of them…FML

Anyway here is the last poem I received online, if I pretended to read it then you can too!

I lie on the ground,
and stare into space,
the stars start to move,
into the shape of your face.


I see you there now,
looking down at me,
with that cute little smile,
that I like to see.


You say "close your eyes",
"tell me what you see",
I see only two people,
just you and me.


We're walking the shoreline,
with our feet getting wet,
the horizon turns pink,
as the sun starts to set.


We make love through the night,
on that white sandy shore,
then I hold you while thinking,
I could want nothing more.


Oh I wish I could be,
in that one special place,
as I lie on the ground,
and I stare into space.


Love
x

Skimmed it? All I got was “lie on the ground, just you and me, wet, pink, thinking, that one special place,” umm what?! Maybe poems aren’t meant to be read that quickly…whatever, there was no way in hell I was replying to the the creator/copier. This is definitely the kind of guy who would meet me, skin my head, then use my hair to dress his cats.