Fussy? Me? Never!...

The most important part of online dating is the first contact. This is normally in the form of a private message, during my time on the sites I have quickly realised that there are four main types of message:
• The “hi”
• The “fancy chatting?”
• The “personal ad”
• The “you are gorgeous!”
They are all shit.

I’m a lazy cow when it comes to online dating, one lovely blogger Little Miss Daydream is trying to date based on advice from Diana Kirschner’s Love in 90 Days and Jane Austen’s Guide to Dating by Lauren Henderson…I can safely say my approach to dating is basically pathetically rubbish compared to hers, she’s being proactive and has a really good attitude, whereas I’m basically being the annoying “hot girl” at school who expects a really attractive penis with a great personality to fall into her vagina. Little Miss Daydream also mentions the "Deadly Dating Patterns" and even though I’m not entirely sure what these are, I’m still pretty damn certain I could be a spokesperson for them.

I think the idea of online dating is to give guys you wouldn’t normally chat with a chance? But I’m sorry, I can’t with most of them! A cat walking over a keyboard could send me a better first message than some of the men on the internet.

And I know I’m a ‘Shallow Hal’ sometimes...especially online, if I don’t find a guy attractive then I don’t reply...even if he sends me a message to make comedians cry with laughter, I’m starting to think that maybe I should give these men an opportunity to prove that there is more to life than looks, but if I don’t find a guy hot then I will far too happily shove him into the friend zone and from my experience this ends in tears (theirs…) seriously men are such pussies!

I may come across as a bit of a bitch sometimes and as my mother so lovingly put “you’re getting to an age now where you can’t afford to be fussy” excuse me? I’m 22…I think I’ve got a few good years left in me yet! My ass has honestly never looked better and my boobs, well they deserve some kind of medal for the work they do each day defying gravity! Okay my tummy is hit or miss, sometimes it could give underwear models competition, other days it has the ability to appear pregnant and I'm offered to sit down on busy trains…I like to think it has a personality but in reality it’s more closely tied to my relationship with wine and pizza…worth it.

This has happened to me more than once...

So yes I may come across as a bit of a bitch but shockingly I do reply to some men…I know! At the moment I have about five guys in the ‘potential date arena’ and they are quite the mixture, although they all have similar personalities and are able to take my banter, brave men! I will update you on the progress of these boys in the future, including how they managed to send me a message that didn't make me want to kick them in the goolies!

To be honest five out of about five-hundred potential guys is a little fussy…I can admit that! But I am struggling with my inner whore-demon! I really want to find myself a decent guy who I can spend time with chatting, chilling, laughing, fucking but oh god does the whore-demon make some good points sometimes…right now she’s telling me it is a wonderful idea to let my guy friend/previous fuckbuddy come stay with me next week as he keeps hinting for an invite, I am very tempted as he is hilarious, a favourite pastime of his was to shout “nice boobs!” across the canteen and then of course I could only reply with “nice dick!” yeah he is a bit of a knob in reality…why do I always like the cocky little shits?

Some sexytimes would be very nice, I want to say yes but there is a problem other than my dream of a being a good girl, the problem is that he started seeing one of my good friends for a few weeks recently but being the selfish heartless bitch she is, she got bored of him. Great what’s the issue then? Well she is a crazy bunny boiler, one of these girls that if she touches a guy then her name is automatically tattooed on their head for life. Hmm problem. I really can’t be bothered with the drama…oh but she didn’t care that I had a thing with him first I hear you say? Well apparently girl code doesn’t apply to slags such as myself. Seriously sluts never get any respect!

I think I lost the point of this post but no worries…over the next week we will go into detail about the four types of message I listed above with some wonderful examples from the lads online. That’s something to look forward to! And I promise I am going to try harder to love the world and give even the revoltingly ugly people a chance, but not the moustache people! NEVER THE MOUSTACHE PEOPLE!

Everyone's A Poet

Completely unrelated photo I know...but it's funny and the poem pictures were rubbish man!

Poems.

Poems.

Poems.

Umm yes, so poems.

What can I say? I’m sure you are sat at your computer, thinking of wonderful romantic ways of wooing the women and OF COURSE! It is so simple! A poem! Yes the women will be throwing their panties at you once you copy and paste some badly selected rhyming shit into their inbox. Sorted. Now sit back and watch that pussy role in, girls are suckers for romance right? NO. NO. NO!

Naïve women will perhaps get a flutter in their tummy or somewhere downstairs reading a poem but honestly in my opinion there is no personal touch. Maybe if you include my name, add something from my profile, WRITE IT YOURSELF, then who knows?

Poems are so awkward. AWKWARD. Two weeks ago a friend shared some of his poems AND the inspiration behind them with me…it took all my willpower to hold in my laughter…I managed an “awww how lovely” before I shoved wine into my face…I was praying he wouldn’t mention them again but he continued and attempted to ask me questions…my head was screaming "don’t laugh! And why did you choose wine? Wine is completely the wrong drink! You should have known! You stupid heartless immature child! There is only so long you can gulp down wine without wanting to become a little vomcano!"…thankfully I finished my glass, leapt to my feet and declared “oh I am out of wine, I shall go get us another bottle! Why don’t you show her *pointing at my friend* your poems?” The look on her face was amazing, something out of a cartoon when a piano is about to fall on your face; oh yes we were out in a group…I know…the other people at the table had all turned away and left me to deal with the wannabe poet but oh no bitches! It’s your turn now muahahahaa!!!!! Luckily the other guy with us told him to put his poems away and stop ruining the banter…yes so poems are so awkwardly awful for the every situation…I feel I have to admit that I slept with poem dude later that night...but that was a completely drunken douche of a decision and was definitely in spite of the poems than because of them…FML

Anyway here is the last poem I received online, if I pretended to read it then you can too!

I lie on the ground,
and stare into space,
the stars start to move,
into the shape of your face.


I see you there now,
looking down at me,
with that cute little smile,
that I like to see.


You say "close your eyes",
"tell me what you see",
I see only two people,
just you and me.


We're walking the shoreline,
with our feet getting wet,
the horizon turns pink,
as the sun starts to set.


We make love through the night,
on that white sandy shore,
then I hold you while thinking,
I could want nothing more.


Oh I wish I could be,
in that one special place,
as I lie on the ground,
and I stare into space.


Love
x

Skimmed it? All I got was “lie on the ground, just you and me, wet, pink, thinking, that one special place,” umm what?! Maybe poems aren’t meant to be read that quickly…whatever, there was no way in hell I was replying to the the creator/copier. This is definitely the kind of guy who would meet me, skin my head, then use my hair to dress his cats.

Personal Profiles

Time to make that profile personal!

First rule: KEEP IT SIMPLE 
Second rule: GRAB ATTENTION
And that's all there is to it really. But no...of course there are a hundred and one things that can make your profile 'wanna be dated' or 'gotta be hated'.

We've already learnt that women get a lot of messages, because they possess the secret online dating weapon...a vagina, so if you happen to be one of the lucky guys that pass the photo, the username and the chat up line test and then she actually clicks on your profile! You need a bloody big bear boob trap to catch her!

The best way of doing this is to be the comedian! No not the annoying guy who thinks he's funny but actually make her laugh, whatever your humour is...sarcastic, silly, slapdash...if you can somehow be funny DO IT! It’s awesome!

Now you want to make reading your profile a positive experience! I come away from so many groaning to myself at how depressively dull men are and it's often a challenge to get past the first sentence. Something very simple that made me smile under "interests" was a guy who had written "Rugby League, Rugby League and Rugby League oh and Rugby League…" nothing impressive (and could be considered boring if you're not a rugby fan) but memorable and what woman doesn’t like to think about big muscly men playing rugby? Also repetition sticks in peoples brains (clearly).

Don’t reveal too much on your profile, the difficulty with revealing more is it becomes yet another reason for the ladies to chuck you onto the garbage pile. Just write enough points to have something to talk about and show you are not a freak that spends 24 hours a day stalking women on the internet and dreaming about eating kittens. Women like mystery because let's face it the dream is always better than reality.

I often give profiles a quick scan, blocks of text send me running away quicker than an alcoholic tramp trying to lick me. I like short snippets with quick information available. I've seen some profiles that have actual essays on them and although I'm interested in the guy, I honestly cannot be bothered to read through what I assume is going to be a pile of waffling shite. I don't have the time or interest.

Another thing is try and make your profile unique. I see guy after guy with the same old cloned profile "I enjoy watching films, spending time with friends and listening to music" no shit sherlock you've just described most of the population and I really couldn't give a dogs biscuit, it's boring. I would rather shit in my hands and clap than read one more piece of literary artwork like that.

So how do you write a good profile? Umm well that's a hard one. I find it very easy to pick out bad things on profiles but coming up with something funny, interesting and frigging awesome isn't easy and damn do I understand that.

Most of the guys who message me tend to mention something from my profile (well the ones that manage to override their penis shouting "She's hot!!! Tell her! Tell her!! Tell her!!! She won't be able to resist you then!" yes the guys that actually use their upstairs brains seem to be impressed with my profile of written nonsense, this makes me not only incredibly amazing but definitely the right person to be giving out advice...umm yeah sure...YES.

Here are the key points that I included on my profile
1. Three things that make me happy. Nothing special but I tried to make them interesting, rather than just saying "walking" say where you like to walk or who with? Don't go overboard. I think I also manage to hint that I'm easy to please and I'm one of these girls that can sit in a corner with brick and be happy, maybe that's why men like me...easily pleased in life equals easily pleased in the bedroom? Oh god I hope they're not thinking that. Damn.
2. I talk about what I'm doing in my life right now. Obvious to be honest. Live in the moment, where is your life and will I fit into it is normally one of the first questions I ask myself when I look at profiles.
3. I make a joke. I'm going to say it again. BE FUCKING FUNNY! I am hilarious.
4. I add a weird 'what the fuck' statement at the end, basically "and yes that is why blah blah...it's a long story..." this has got me ridiculous numbers of "I've got to ask but what is the story...?" mails, at first it was great but now I'm losing patience, eurgh be original!!! Grrr but of course I put it there because it's such an easy invitation for someone to talk to you!

In conclusion I don't think there is a right way to design a dating profile, everyone has their own tastes and opinions what rocks Sandy's boat might send Ellie's plummeting to the bottom of the ocean, I would say stick to what you feel comfortable with, make it truthful, real and relatable, keep it short, keep it simple and try to make it funny. Easier said than done.

Before I end today I had to share this gem...

IM A NORMAL AVERAGE GUY WHO IS NOT VAIN OR ARROGRANT,I DONT THINK IM BETTER THAN ANYONE ELSE OR LOOK DOWN ON PEOPLE OR JUDGE ANYONEIM VERY LOYAL ,TRUSTWORTHY,KIND AND LOVING,I HAVE A VERY BIG HEART

Okay that's not too bad, I mean the guy is being real right? Umm his tagline was "LOOKING FOR A HOTTIE WITH NO ATTITUDE" and his username? Oh? well the perfect username for a guy who is not vain or arrogant of course! "IRRESISITIBLE" This all adds up to the guy being a complete douche who can't even spell.

I know I didn't really come to a conclusion today but I just can't grab one and don't want to lie and make some shit up! If I ever come across the perfect profile I will be sure to share it with you sexybeasts! Over and out.

It's All About Packaging

Today we are going to be talking about captions also known as "looking for" and "chat up lines".

Oh men men men…these little boxes causes you oh so many problems don’t they? But don’t worry I’m here to help!

Apart from your username and picture, this is the quickest thing to send a woman running in the opposite direction, I’ve read some and physically groaned in embarrassment for the male species!

Now I don't believe there is any right answer to what you should put, but there are definitely a lot of wrong ones! So I thought instead of giving my ideas I would simply show you what the men of the internet think are appropriate...and of course comment on how shit they can be...

"can you lend me 10p? (how about 5 then?)"
I was tempted to message him and ask what he needed it for...it caught my attention so therefore I would say this is pretty good if a little weird (of course I love weird in case you haven't realised by now...if the white coats are coming to catch ya then you're a keeper in my eyes...)

"hiya hope you are all ok"
*Groan* men please don't address everyone, a woman wants to be special not part of the bloody crowd. Pretend you want to talk to just one lucky lady even if you want to bang them all!

"i'm not a gynaecologist, but i'll have a look!"
A poor attempt at being funny in all honesty. My thought when I read this was quite simple "oh fuck off"

"Looking for genuine woman to spend some quality time with."
This is a typical caption of older men, nice but dull, in no way offensive but in no way attention grabbing, women won’t admit it but we want something a little bit out there...or maybe I'm just speaking for myself here.

"Free cuddles come and get them"
I quite liked this. I shouldn't. But I do...what? I'm a woman and therefore I don't require the use of sensibility ever (that's the number one reason a woman will always win an argument, men you hinder yourselves with logic...)

"Lets go............!!!!!!"
Rape or wrestle? Am I in a race?

"naaaa........................."
In typical unexplainable female fashion this one caught my attention, I took it as some kind of rejection I think and I had to see who this guy was!

"i thought this was friends reunited!!!!!........... o well Do you like raisins? How about a date?"
I really love this, it's funny without being try hard, it's not desperate and actually made me laugh and for once not in a 'wow I feel sorry for you pathetic creature with a penis' way...

"Fancy lunch,bring your passport"
If I was a money grabbing goldigger whore this cashsplashed fucktard would be the top of my list!

"I have had an operation on my knee and I am housebound...."
Great? I'm sure that is what every girl is looking for...

"i just want a pretty brunnette in her twenties, thats all."
Way to limit a potential catch by being a shallow ageist donkey

"hi..........................."
I see this EVERYWHERE and it's so YAWNNNN, no effort, no personality, no bloody good!

"Come and get a piece of this action!"
I appreciate the offer but thankfully decline. I have a feeling that the "action" being offered gets around quite a bit...

"Lukin 4 a lovely jubley girl"
Go back to school and learn how to spell! I hate poor grammar and text speak, if you are not a teenager then you have no excuse. Talk like a fucking educated adult! (I know some websites have character limits on these boxes but honestly I do not care, use your brain and figure it out...I know women are bitches and why is nothing ever easy with us? Because we want you to try harder and be the best you can be! We care too much about you...)

"Looking for love"
I always think this puts too much pressure on potential matches but I guess it's okay...I hate the word okay...it's like nice...eurgh when you're told that "you are a nice girl" why not hit me in the face with a frying pan, it will hurt less.

"looking for a nice girl"
(See above for my opinion on "nice") and who isn't looking for that in all honesty, oh that's right the ones who want a filthy dirty slag.

“1 life dnt get 2 no me now u never will!”
What did I say earlier about text speak? And this doesn’t even make any bloody sense! What is wrong with a nice bit of understandable English language?! (Okay I know I have a habit of making up words and using noises as descriptions but…but…I want an educated man or at least one that couldn’t be beaten at scrabble by a slug).

So what have we learnt today? That I get annoyed by everything!? Yes! I mean no...we have learnt that there really isn't the perfect caption but I would say the top 5 rules are:
1. Make it interesting
2. Make 'em laugh
3. Pretend you are talking to one lucky lady
4. Use English not textlish
5. Don't  sound like you have a social penis (aka whore)

Love and sex all around!!!...I feel it's needed after the man hate today...you would have no idea how much I appreciate the penis when you read some of my posts, but I really really do...ahh penis, I love the ladies foofys as well...I just don't want to play with them...wait what was I saying? Oh yes I LOVE YOU ALL!!!!

The Perfect Profile Picture

Profile pictures. The first thing a woman will judge you on. Let’s face it, everyone goes on appearance initially right? I know, I know, us ladies moan about men focusing purely on what we look like and then we do the EXACT same thing but...but…but it’s human nature…yeah just hand me a bigger shovel so I can dig this hole faster thanks…

There are many ideas of what makes a good profile pic, most people will tell you that it’s a smile and yes a smile is great and everything (unless it’s one of those creepy clown smiles eurgh). But what I find interests me is mystery…a guy looking slightly away from the camera…WHY IS HE NOT LOOKING AT ME!?!?! WHAT COULD POSSIBLY BE MORE INTERESTING THAN THIS HOT PIECE OF ASS?!!?! Interest peaked! Tada!

A photo of you looking away is also good if you’re not the most stunning chap in the world… it gives you the opportunity to present a picture that won't scare the birds away and hopefully allow you get across your personality before you finally reveal everything. What’s even better is that you’re not hiding your face, it’s still you...but you are just being a little crafty with it…

Boys oh boys! Please avoid those awful pouty "flirty" faces like the plague…it’s just a wrong. Another no in my 'huge book of being a fussy bitch' is the ‘Bear Pose’, what do I mean by the 'Bear Pose'? A guy stood up, hands on hips, chest puffed out and being the man! It is too self obsessed and try-hard to be hench in my opinion.

The Bear Pose...sort of

A good photo is a relaxed photo, at the moment I’m making an effort to talk to a guy who has a picture of him quite simply sat comfortably leaning forwards on what looks like a couch or bed (this is subtly important, the fact I thought it was a bed made me immediately think about sex when I looked at him, maybe not intentional on his part but that’s where my mind went…bad dirty filthy mind!), the forwards lean is also  significant (can you tell I’ve done some psychology at uni and therefore now believe I’m the worlds leading authority on it?..) unlike the bear pose that is leaning back, this guy is leaning towards me making it welcoming and like he’s showing an interest in me…he’s not…it’s just a photo but this is what my subconscious tells me…(my subconscious may be over thinking some of this shit).

There is one issue I’m slightly stuck on and that is all of you half naked men, as a respectable young woman: “oh how it is disgusting! Clearly this is a man who only cares about how he looks…I will just have a little sneak peak…oh my god the half naked man with abs messaged me...hehehehe"…this is how women let themselves down and I'm included. It takes all my effort to resist a reply to these chiseled gods but resist I do...I want more than a body to play with...I've been there, done that hottie with a body...and the personalty of potato...of course if you were talking to me a few months ago I would be on these guys like fat person on cheesecake…so if you’ve got it...I'm going to suggest you flaunt it...in a tasteful way of course!

For the ladies...

One thing I’m also confused about is animals…a lot of guys have pictures with their pets, now I am an animal lover so normally this interests me, a cute dog and I definitely notice the picture but I’m not sure I like them…it means he already has something special in his life and I don’t really want to be second best…one thing I am certain of is that you should not being kissing your pet parrot in a profile picture (yes a guy actually did this).

Okay next were onto kids (wonder what it says about me that my mind goes naked men, animals and then children. Priorities?). You may have a history and that history may involve some babies but a profile picture isn’t the place, a woman doesn’t want to be immediately presented with this, of course you shouldn’t hide it but don’t let it be the first thing she sees.

Next up on the chopping block...cars. Okay we get it, you have some money, you own a car, congratulations but unless you are a transformer I do not want to see a car in your profile picture. It sends the wrong message. It tells me you are materialistic and no doubt will attract women wanting you for the wrong reasons aka "she aint nothin but a gold digger!"

Honestly? I have no idea

Final tip, if you have a uniform WEAR IT! I’ve randomly realised that the last few guys I have chatted to are ALL wearing some kind of uniform in their profile pics, so guys if you are in the army/navy/airforce get that gear on, I’m sure it’s not just me that loves a man in uniform, it’s a talking point, it’s the romantic idea and it’s just frigging hot!

So what have we learnt today? Well that I don't really know exactly what I want and there is no perfect profile picture?...no don't be silly! We have of course learnt that the best profile picture is simple, relaxed, a little mysterious and you! Oh and last thing NO CROTCH SHOTS. NO. NO. NO. NO. NO. NO. NO...NO.

Well that was helpful...

What's In A Name?

When you create an online dating account you are immediately presented with the ‘username’ box…in a rush to reach all the online pussy you smash in the first thing that comes to mind and you feel pretty proud of yourself, I mean what woman wouldn’t want a guy named "3legs"? Yep, you are a stud and now they will ALL know it…no.

Men please, for me, take a little time to think about the label you give yourself.

Your username is important.

Apart from your profile picture it is the first thing your potential ladyfriend will see and inevitably judge you on. Don’t neglect it!

I would like to think that common sense could be used here, but from some of the names I’ve seen recently it’s quite clear that the majority of men on the internet could get lost in an empty field with all the sense they possess…

So here are Little Miss Me’s tips on picking a username that doesn’t make me want to do the world a favour and hit you with a shovel.

Do not use the word “hot” (I was just messaged by a "hotstuff" telling me “I’m fit as fuck”…ooh I think I just met my new Prince Charming! Kate and Wills are going to be put to shame!) Yes I’m aware you think you are very hot and every woman wants you...but if it’s true then you don't need to plonk that awful word in your username. Women have eyes, you have pictures…see where I’m going with this?

Guys…oh you bunch of penii…please avoid the temptation of 69…just bleurgh…you are not being original…or clever…or even funny…do I really have to explain? Because I’m not going to.

Also names like "mrcoolassdude" and "MrLoving"…I mean sure it seems like a decent idea…you may be a cool ass dude, you may be more loving than a carebear but it’s all a bit blah (I know my use of descriptive language today is outstanding).

Of course if you are looking for a lady to explode your load in and nothing more (I use lady in the loosest sense…no judgment here…everyone needs their back doors smashed in sometimes...) I’m sure a name like "super_serpent" or "MrLongAndHard" might work wonders on women who keep their brain in their G spot. But honestly even a little kitten only looking to play might not be impressed with such a sexually focused name…or at least one that you actually want…remember a woman that is easy for you is easy for everyone…

In my humble opinion (what? I can be humble!..) the best names to go for are the simplest.

Your name should be something I can remember (for the right reasons, laughing at a skinny scruff of a man called "KingKong" is not the right reason fyi, although he has stuck in my mind, so who really knows?…).

The guy I can think of right now is simply Simon, his username is Simon192838 (some random formation of numbers) but that’s not the point, the point is that I remember him and that is important!

Another little tip is that when you are on a site that doesn't allow spaces in your username and you are using multiple words please please please make sure it is easy to read, for example:

• littlemissme 
• LittleMissMe 
• little_miss_me

The first one is pretty illegible and a woman doesn’t have the time or energy to work out what the hell your name is, so make it clear! It’s not difficult, capitals and underscores are all you need.

So yes, you want a name that is memorable, not explicitly sexual and definitely not assholeish.

If I were a guy I would probably base it on a celebrity, film/tv character, song or perhaps a famous quote, something that reflects your appearance or personality, if the name is already well known and associated with something positive then the chances are it will be more memorable to women. It could also be a talking point and that is ALWAYS good! Funny is nice too but be careful what humour you go for...

In conclusion if you keep it simple then you can’t go too far wrong. Easy peasy.

DISCLAIMER: as always these are my opinions...don't go hatin if I aint right bro!


Check back on Wednesday when I will be giving you the good, the bad and the ugly facts about profile pictures!

Dating Profile of Little Miss Me

I think it’s best if we start by looking at the hottest piece of ass on the internet (yes I am talking about me!…the compliments from numerous online perverts are clearly going to my head).

So this is a brief description of my “completely outstandingly perfectly amazing” profile, before I start slagging everyone else off…I’m lovely really, honest! And definitely never ever sarcastic…

I’m not the most stunningly attractive girl in the world obviously, if I was I’d be married to some billionaire tycoon who showers me with shiny things, buys me ponies and builds me a floating magnetic bed, instead I’m hanging around on dirty dating websites…however even my horrid amount of insecurities allow me to say that I’m alright and YES YOU WOULD. HARD.

My username is simple, nothing suggestive. To me it is innocence and mystery combined...to most men it is probably just another issue when they try to work out if I'm a massive whore, am I going to be willing to send them pictures of my vagina or even better play rodeo with them in the real world?

I posted two profile photos, one is a webcam pic of me laughing/smiling (I read somewhere that webcam pics should never be used as they are grainy and usually ugly, all I can say is 'boo you whore' get a mac!) and the other is a slightly different angle of me dressed as a cat...drunk (again I remember reading that you should never post a pissed up pic but damn I like it, so whatever Trevor! I know I can’t follow advice...so am I the right person to be giving it? Quite simply yes I believe I am) I think I look pretty good in the pictures and if I was a creepy internet rapist I would DEFINITELY drag me into some bushes and chop me into pieces!

I also filled out the profile box, I purposely wrote NOTHING remotely sexual on there, because believe me when I say men need no encouragement! I kept it sweet, fun, humorous with a hint of innocence (...all ladies want to be innocent damsels in distress fyi…even if we are the dirtiest filthy whores in the litter box, we’re a tricky little bunch of flower gardens).

Within literally seconds of posting my photo I was being bombarded with chat pop ups, to the point that I wasn’t sure if it was a spamming advert site, but nope these were real people! There is nothing unusual in girls getting lots of messages from men on dating sites, it’s a known fact that it is nearly ALWAYS the men who have to put the effort in, so I sat back and waited for the messages to flow in (cocky bitch right?...this is the moment you want me to receive no messages, unfortunately men you can't resist my charms!).

I decided from the outset that I would only respond to inbox messages, the chat pop ups were annoying and in general creepy, boring and weird. So yes INBOX ONLY. I wouldn’t be surprised if other women also did this.

The longer I spend on the site the more ideas I have on what men I am going to quite simply ignore, women on dating websites are harsh boys and that is the truth! I may possibly be a little more dismissive than your average lady because of certain experiences and a real lack of naivety when it comes to longest running battle on earth: penis vs brain.

So yes that is a better introduction to me? Hopefully? Any questions? Don’t be afraid to ask! I don’t bite! Unless you want me to…

On Friday the real shit starts! The advice and insights I’m going to give you are one of a kind (with any luck)…and so that is all I can say about Little Miss Me at the moment, are you excited? I am!

6NR77ABUWUZB

Meet Little Miss Me...

I've always enjoyed blogging and have one or two floating around in cyberspace, but honestly I lost motivation with my last blog, it was all about sex because damn I loved sex back in the days but now I'm bored with that (I sound mad right?!), well I'm fed up with most things right now except maybe unicorns, yep I think a unicorn might impress me, but not in a creepy using it's horn inappropriately kind of way...no the same way a flying pig might get an imaginary tip of the hat...wait I've stumbled off track again (this happens a lot but you will learn to love it or leave...I guess that's your choice)

Okay the point of this post is introduce myself, it's going well so far isn't it? No...okay then...

You can call me Little Miss Me or anything you wish really, out of a flit of fleeting boredom I decided to join a dating site yesterday, to be honest it was more than a fleeting decision in my mad mind; I thought it might be a good way of meeting a decent guy...I know WHAT WAS I THINKING! My mother always told me the internet was full of rapists and murderers! Of course she isn't the internets biggest fan and soaks up anything the media has to offer...

Oh damn I've wandered off again! Back on track...

I'm 22, single and a student (for the next few months anyway), consequently all this adds up to me being poor and although I knew I should join one of those pay sites out there I thought hell no! Free all the way, so joined a free for females one instead and damn I am so glad I did!

Men sometimes there is nothing else to think but "really? you seriously just sent me that?"

The moral of this waffling story...well there are no morals but I feel like someone needs to give some brutal honest advice about dating sites with hopefully a few laughs along the way!