Friday, 10 June 2011

Too Many Many Men

The number 1 problem with dating sites is that there are too many men (and not enough decent, intelligent, hot, sexy, funny... too much?...women like me! In fact according to one lovely chap the site was full of “large ladys who want to take me out and do stuff to me” apparently he wasn’t into it...but at least he got some attention).

Anyway…umm…yes there is too much penis on the internet.

You may send a girl a message feeling pretty good about yourself; I mean YOU made the effort to talk to HER! Oh what a lucky lady she is to have the chance to talk to a stallion like you! Unfortunately there is an entire herd of bucking broncos trying to mount this poor filly, don’t be discouraged if she snubs you.

Dating sites are a numbers game, if one woman doesn’t appreciate how much of a stud you are forget about her and move on. I’ve ignored over 90% of my inbox messages, the reasons why I will reveal in futures posts. The point that I’m trying to make here is that no matter how amazing, attractive and hilarious you are…your message may simply get lost in the crowd.

Not a good enough answer? Well in under two days on the site apparently I had 120 admirers (not entirely sure how they work this out…I’m guessing it includes anyone who’s tried to interact with me, winks, messages, declarations of love, requests to play in my cumbucket, the usual) I also had 102 personal inbox messages…and no way in hell am I going to reply to all of them! Or even bother taking the time to open some when the titles reads “hey hot stuf, u lukin 4 a gud time? ;)”…so guys it’s REALLY important you can stand out from the crowd! Don’t worry Little Miss Me is here to help you, just because I care THAT MUCH about your poor little broken hearts, sensitive things you are!

So the first rule of getting noticed: BE A WHORE!!! Message lots of women, yes I'm aware in the past you have been told this is "wrong", you should look for that special someone, quality over quantity...but the chances of getting a reply are not great, the more women you approach, the more likely one might actually take an interest in you and to be honest who is going to know if you send 1 or 100 messages? Of course there are many other variables and the content of the message is actually very very important but that is something we shall get to later! Be patient young Padawan.

On Monday we are talking usernames and generally how shit you boys are at choosing them (sorry I love and hump you really! But yeah you are shit).

8 comments:

Riff Dog said...

Funny, I remember my first day on AM, I sent exactly *one* message. I felt it would be sleazy to send more.

MissForlorn said...

Haha this is funny. But most of the guys out there on the internet are horny dogs. But I guess cybersex is part of the dating game, lol.

Little Miss Me said...

Riff - Hehe oh how times have changed ;) did you get a reply from the luckiest lady in the world?

MissForlorn - Indeed they are horny dogs...comparing them to dogs might be too rude...to the dogs...

Randall A. said...

Haha, Riff. I can't imagine how it is now. Hundreds of messages a day! Boy, how our e-mails get around!

Alice X said...

It's like when you have too many DVD's you can't choose which one to watch because you have too much choice!

Ashley said...

Wow, it sounds like you're quite popular! Online dating is really hard, honestly, meeting some guy who isn't a dud, it's just a shocker really.

Little Miss Me said...

Randall - Are you yet another internet stud?! Why can't I find any of you?

Alice - That is a really good way of thinking about it! I'm awful at decisions in general and people have to make a lot of them for me (ever seen the anger in someones eyes as you dither around for ages...frustration isn't even the word!) no wonder I'm not having much luck finding a man really! I can't even decide what clothes to wear most days...

Ashley - Oh god yes it's hard...surprisingly I've talked to a few guys who are pretty damn alright but I guess time will tell, sometimes it takes a few days for their true colours to come out! Learnt that the hard way, sneaky buggers

Anonymous said...

Let's face it. Men typically outnumber women in the world on average according to United Nations considering the high amount of female gendercides of female infants and children that have been going on from East to West and this is another reason why men all over the world join online dating sites. It's harder for them to find good, decent women on average because of this.