Friday, 8 July 2011

Fancy Chatting?

Yes Please
I love men to be 'real men'. I’m not asking for a caveman who drags his knuckles and hits me over the head with a dinosaur when I don’t shut up...but I do want a proper man!

There is nothing that annoys me more than men who apologise all the time, I love my readers and you sexy creatures really do come up with some great comments, Ms. Inconspicuous said it perfectly: “unless you have something to truly apologize for, don't. Or apologize for having an apparent spinectomy, because I only fuck guys with a backbone”.

Equally as annoying are the number of messages I get from guys who are basically asking if it’s okay to talk to me, I mean what the actual fuck?! Just bloody talk to me, I’m not your frigging teacher! Are you going to raise your hand when you need a bloody piss on our first date? Do you expect me to give you a grade at the end of it? Maybe a letter home to the parents? Men use your bloody balls or I will take it upon myself to detach them from your body, because quite frankly you don’t deserve them.

If a guy doesn't have the courage to take the initiative in starting a conversation then he's not exactly going to be the big man in the bedroom is he? I need a man who will just throw me across room, not one who asks if it's okay first...gentle doesn't do it for me.
Subject: Hi
From: ****
Sent Date: 7/4/2011 12:24:24 AM
how are u?
i like your profile and your pic
and would be nice to get to know you
dats if its ok with you and you wld like to.
wb x
Subject: Hi
From: ****
Sent Date: 6/13/2011 7:19:33 PM
Just stopped and read your profile and its
pretty cute.
I would love to know more about you so if
thats ok stop by and say hello.
c. x

Subject: Hi
From: ****
Sent Date: 6/12/2011 11:29:04 PM
You sound really nice and enjoyed looking at your profile!
I'm ****, live in **** too. Would you be interested in talking?
Subject: Hi
From: ****
Sent Date: 7/2/2011 7:12:05 PM
Hiya :)
How are you?
I hope you don't mind me messaging you :)
I really liked your profile, and I was just wondering if you fancied chatting a bit more?
**** x
Honestly why ask if it’s okay? According to my Dutch friends they believe the English are too polite and find it annoying when we aren’t direct, but what the Dutch call assertive I normally call rude…anyway here I can see their point because damn is this annoying. I don’t understand why they ask me if I’m interested in talking or if it's okay to contact me? I don’t care! If it’s not I’m just going to ignore please send me something interesting instead.

I get loads of these messages; most simply say “fancy chatting?” and I don’t really know what they expect me to reply with? They give me absolutely nothing to play I say “yes” because that’s clearly going to be the start of an enthusiastic fun filled conversation isn’t it! Instead of asking if I want a conversation, just bloody start one! It’s not difficult really.
Oh so true...


Maxwell said...

Do you actually get the messages you copy and paste? About 95% of them make me fear for the future of the human race...

Twad'dler said...

Just popped over from 20sb and this made me laugh because it's so true! There seems to be no middle ground for English men (and women) they are either too polite or too cocky!

Ryan Beaumont said...

Hopefully I Pads will be the savior of society and bring English back into the written note. Hopefully the texting generation will not have competely lost the art of written commucation. They will just have to learn to type w/their thumbs.

Little Miss Me said...

Maxwell - I can assure you all the messages I post are ones I receive couldn't make this shit up. Be afraid. Very afraid.

Twad'dler - Hehe I know what you mean! I think I'm going to start hunting out the middle ground guys in hope for our future...

Ryan - I'm the texting generation and if I can do it, they should all be able to!

Not who I will be said...

Confidence is so appealing. That apologizing shit really needs to go.

Carrymel said...

Hahah, I think they're trying to be polite but asking for permission in such an unappealing way isn't going to work... do you go about expressing interest in someone online without coming off like a panzy?

Anonymous said...

So my daughter is full of shit when she says I have to shave my "fur vest" before dating or take some kind of new age sensitivity training? ;-)

Everything Strength

Mrs. Pickle said...

"dats if its ok with you and you wld like to" What a fucking moron!

Rosie said...

Fancy chatting? NO! especially since your message to me was so poorly done AND you are not local.
'Nough said by me.

Stephanie D said...

I got two emails in 24 hours from guys who saw my profile and thought they knew me from somewhere. One was actually pretty nice...the other knew me because he contacted me last year and I hit the "send a polite no thanks" button. I love that button btw.

Sandra said...

I bet fat gut guy has more meaninful conversation to offer. Hot bod guy would only be talking about his workout regimen.

Thank, Q said...

LOL @ that last photo! BTW, I agree with Sandra. As a fat guy myself, I definitely have brushed up on the art of conversation and would put my game up against any man with a six-pack ab! :) And if his abs still give him the advantage, then I'd promise to babysit your kids and do your taxes. Fat man wins! Flawless victory!

hilljean said...

Stopping by from the Lady Bloggers Tea Party and I have to say that your whole blog platform is BRILLIANT! I love this!

The Onion Gypsy said...

what a great blog! +followed...and totally agree with you on steel panther mmmmm! ;)

ArtChick said...

Visiting from LBS...your post was so funny! I needed a laugh today. And gosh I am just glad I don't have to date...what a scary misadventure that would be for me...although likely hilarious at the same time.

Gorilla Bananas said...

You sound as if you need a gorilla in your life. Did you like King Kong?

Little Miss Me said...

Not who I will be – I agree, confidence is probably the most attractive quality ya man can have in my eyes.

Carrymel – Hehe I think it’s actually better to just be direct, don’t worry about being polite and just go for it! I’m not really sure how though…

IronBear138 – Haha your daughter isn’t entirely full of shit, I would say shave that fur vest I hate hairy men, but I know a lot of women like it, so I guess it’s up to you, be grateful you have someone there to give you advice!

Mrs. Pickle – Tell me about, the internet is full of them!

Rosie – Hehe I love your to the pointness! Men could really learn from you!

Stephanie D – Haha oh dear, what site is that button on? To be honest I seem to miss any chance of being polite…

Sandra – Aww poor hot bod guy, but I know what you mean…I’ve had plenty of experience is the pretty no brains boys

Thank, Q – Haha no competition when you put it like that!

hilljean – Thanks for visiting, glad you like it :)

The Onion Gypsy – Thanks :) I know Steel Panther are so yummy!

ArtChick – Thanks for visiting :) glad I could cheer you up!

Gorilla Bananas – Oh really now, what does a gorilla provide? I loved King Kong but it was such a sad film :(

Asian Girl said...

Oh gosh, that stuff is so annoying. When I last dated online, which was 3 years ago, I would get messages that just said "hi". Or "I like your picture". Ummmm, yeah, that doesn't really make me want to write you back. I wonder how many times those lines warrant a response or much less, a date? I love your post!