Wednesday 3 August 2011

The Worst Message Ever?

If you look like this then words aren't important...
In the past I have bitched about how much I hate messages that could have been created by a lively brick, aka the “hi” crowd. Well being the contradictory whore I am…of course I reply to some…

"But wait Little Miss Me! You are always telling us how shit and fucking lazy it is to simply send a “hi” and you basically said there is no way in hell you would ever reply to them! Did you lie?" Umm no?…not exactly…In most cases I will release my pet Gossamer to hunt the "hi" crowd down and hurt them, but I can make an exception for some men...and damn have a few fucking exceptions messaged me recently!

My profile has been up for a while now and I’ve noticed some big changes. I now receive wayyyy less messages, have I got ugly? Is my profile shitter? No. I’m just not fresh meat anymore. Men are absolute dogs for new toys. Plus dating sites list new profiles in a special glittery area…
Am I bovvered tho??? I’m not even bovvered. I now rarely get the creepy messages or the poems or the stalkers...(I'm slightly disappointed about the stalkers...) most messages that grace my inbox nowadays are from guys I’m actually interested in. Most. Not all…

I still get the occasional 'what the fuck were you thinking' message:
From: ****
Subject: Spoiling you
YOU'RE SO HOT & SEXY I"D REALLY LIKE TO TAKE YOU OUT AND SPOIL YOU :) X
I hope you don"t mind me contacting you, I"m not weird or anything but I think you"re really lovely and I"d love an opportunity to meet you which I"d never find any other way than to message you here.
We could start with a shopping trip, dinner and a club, nothing too serious just a fun time to get to know each other as friends first.
What do you think ? I"ll take care of your expenses for the meeting.
First off he’s made the common mistake of informing me on how hot I am, seriously I own a mirror you know! Then he’s asking my permission...but at least he’s not weird…because it’s important to make a point of saying you’re NOT weird…seriously? You only say you’re not weird if you're currently residing in a room with incredibly comfy walls...

He’s also going straight for the meet on the first message…what a rookie mistake; only whores and idiots would agree to meeting after one message, even if he’s using his money as bait.
I don't care that this isn't relevant it is awesome
The poor student and goldigging slut in me shouts "chance it and get some free stuff! We love free stuff!" Unfortunately the piece of me that doesn’t want to be raped says it’s a bad idea. Damn her. Doesn't she understand FREE STUFF?!

Oh and his profile picture is a mirror shot of him in what I assume is a public restroom due to the urinals in the background…doesn’t scream billionaire Prince Charming…

8 comments:

Lorraine said...

This brings back so many memories of my like, oh, two weeks on a dating site. I wasn't brave enough to keep trying.

I did meet a really great guy while there, though! His wife thought he was pretty special too.

Lor

Crazy Life of a Writing Mom said...

Public restroom mirror shot . . . What are these people thinking?

I hope you'll find a guy who looks just like that first picture. He's one of the few people I'd forgive for having urinals in his profile picture LOL!

Katie Archer said...

I have experienced some of that on some social networks. I love the attached penis photos or even better when they use that photo as an avatar! LOSER.

With a lot of the men I was meeting (not in the real) and interacting with I kept a journal about them and then I started the other blog I have...

I was always amazed at those types of men who send messages like the one in your blog. Like we, women are gonna jump at that chance to met someone to "spoil" us...whatever, again I say LOSER!

Little Miss Me said...

Roxanne and Lorraine - Married? Oh dear...some men are such dogs

Elisabeth Hirsch - Hehe yes I think I could forgive him for anything! I'm actually talking to a guy who's not far off...good times!

Katie Archer - Haha oh god, most men really don't have a clue do they?

Myli said...

You can see the urinal in the pic? Oh wow. Classy.

Twad'dler said...

...doesn’t scream billionaire Prince Charming. Amazing.

This guy sounds like the definition of desperate really. It's the 'I"ll take care of your expenses for the meeting' that makes me cringe the most.

Little Miss Me said...

Myli - Oh not just one urinal, oh no there were multiple urinals! Extra classy!

Twad'dler - Eww I know that sent disgusting shivers over me especially "the meeting" part...

Kiss said...

ALCIDE.... Oh myyyyy. LOVE, love him!