Monday, 18 July 2011

Date #1 - Meet Tom Cruise

On Saturday I went on my first ever internet date! This was a major thing for me as it was technically only my second date ever in the history of the world! Yeah people don’t tend to take you on dates when you’re a whore and use sex as an introduction technique…

I was majorly nervous but my friend convinced me to go...well forced me to go...I found him waiting for me and HE WAS SHORT...well he was the same height as me (possibly a teeny bit taller) I’m pretty average at 5’6 but for a guy that is damn short.

The date was actually awesome, he’s funny, he’s got a fit face, an awesome job and there was no awkwardness, well apart from my brain going "oh my god I must look like a giant, yep I’m going to stand on him and he will die, bloody big feet, oh my god I will be a murderer with my clown feet and my massive hands, his hands are so little, I’m like a bloody man, wait maybe people think I’m a man dressed as a woman, they think I'm a drag queen, do I look like a man!?! Oh my god that is why people are staring!!!" I’m really good at winding myself up…they were probably staring because I looked fucking hot to be honest.

Anyway the date was great fun and time went really quickly, possibly faster due to the amount of alcohol I consumed (all bought by him scoring major manpoints) unfortunately he didn’t get taller, pretty disappointing...maybe I should have accepted that sixth glass of wine but I could already hear myself slurring and not entirely making sense, a band was also setting up in the pub and it was taking all my power of politeness not to eye fuck the guitarist who was hot as hell...so yes Mr. Cruise didn't get taller but I think it was the right decision to stop drinking...

We said a slightly awkward goodbye, I knew he was going to go in for the kill but I wasn't interested (surprising for me, I will normally play tongue tennis with anyone just for the entertainment) but I decided it was a bad idea plus I had been feeling poorly for a few days (forgot to mention my voice sounded like a dying toad, I hope he doesn't think that's my natural sound...yep people definitely thought I was a drag queen with that bloody raspy voice as well DAMNIT) anyway it turns out I probably have bloody glandular fever or mono for you special American creatures, worst thing about this is that I haven't even been out whoring, that is so bloody unfair!!! If I have to deal with the kissing disease it would have been nice to at least of kissed some people!

So back to Tom Cruise...He is literally the perfect guy except for his height and I feel like a shallow cow saying that, I would love to have him as a friend but I doubt I could cope with the height thing…I’m used to men being at least 6’ and well he’s just not...

So now I'm stuck. What is the best plan of action?...he's definitely interested in seeing me again and sent me a message later that night saying "best day ever today" damn why am I so fucking awesome! I think I'm just going to see what happens, nothing bad can come of seeing him again I guess...

18 comments:

Lemons Don't Make Lemonade said...

Height is a major consideration for me too. At least 6 feet, but hopefully 6'3.

This guy sounds awesome though. It's kind of sad how many good looking and funny guys are generally short.

Little Miss Me said...

I think they have to be so awesome personality wise to make up for their midgetness, it's like when ugly fat people have to be funny

SomewhereMan said...

So true on this.

A short man will do whatever he can to "make up" for that, unless he has the dreaded Napoleon complex, which I'm hoping isn't the case here.

LMM, do you think he is trying too hard but calling it the "best day ever today"? You still have to play it cool for a while...

SomewhereMan
http://myonewildyear.blogspot.com

Stephanie D said...

We think so much alike on this topic! I feel huge next to someone who isn't over at least 5'8" (I'm 5'6"). You are who you are, and if height makes you feel uncomfortable it just does. I so get it!

When I kissed the short doc, as he leaned in it reminded me of how faces look when you look thru a peephole...ruined it for me.

Little Miss Me said...

SomwhereMan - I did think the "best day ever" was a little OTT but he was presumably very drunk by that time as he went out afterwards so I forgave him...at least I hope that was the reason

Stephanie - Hehe oh dear, yes height is such a major issue, I just feel awkward really which is a shame but oh well, it was a good practice date for the future!

Rosie said...

I do so know what you mean about the height. Why are they so often so short? In desperation I will try to make myself settle for someone who is 5' 10". But I really want 6' Was trying to be nice yesterday to a guy who was whining about his lack of finding someone to date. Now I know why he didn't give his details. He was 5'7" I was trying to be nice and so avoided telling him the obvious problem, offering other suggestions. He ended by attacking me for being overly sophisticated. Right shorty, you tell 'em.

Arlequín said...

Well you either want to see him again or you don't and for whatever reason. If his height bothers you... that's how it is and it doesn't make you shallow or anything in my book.

Just don't string the guy along, or leave him guessing... a polite thanks for a good time, but there was no 'spark' or whatever, and you leave the guy with his dignity intact, even if he's disappointed with the outcome.

KG said...

It's sad because I think that most of the guys with good personalities are short. I'm 5'9" and the pickin's from guys taller than me are slim.

I say give him another chance, maybe you'll get over the height thing...or maybe he'll have a deal breaking habit you don't know about yet!

Carrymel said...

aww honey :( I know height is a factor but if he's so perfect, don't let it matter.

I think you should give him another shot! So you can't wear heels around him, so what? I dated a guy shorter than me and I TOWERED over him, but he was good at everything else. . .

Craziness abounds said...

Having been in a similar situation before that is hilarious! Go out with him again. You might have fun. Btw thanks for following me. I've been trying to get over to see you but when I click on your icon there is no link to your blog. Got you through a comment on Elisa's blog. Now yours won't let me follow you back. will keep trying.

jo said...

aww man that sucks. as long as you aren't towering over him i reckon you can still give that man a chance. btw i love how you write. your posts are always hilarious.

Elisabeth Hirsch said...

He sounds fun. I figure that short guys make for great friends ;)

-E- said...

don't think i was ready for this level of honesty...i'm 5'8"

Shane Pilgrim said...

Hey give him a second try and see what develops. You never know what could happen!

But I do understand your concern. I'm not shallow by any means, but my one hang-up is girls who are taller than me (not many are, I'm 5'11", but last summer I did date a girl who equaled my height). If she is taller than me it's almost a deal-breaker. The height difference seems to throw off the whole dynamic of the relationship lol.

Little Miss Me said...

Rosie – Haha oh dear, I’ve always assumed short guys knew their main problem…I guess men aren’t the brightest

Arlequín – You’re like my grown up dating advice councillor! Makes sense what you’re saying…I do like hanging out with though, hmm

KG – I might give him another chance, he wants to meet on Sunday so I will decide in the next few days my plan of action!

Carrymel – I do really love my heels, I’m the kind of person that goes into shoe shops and cries at how beautiful the heels are…if I can’t wear heels whenever I want that’s actually a big shallow problem…oh dear I really don’t know

Craziness abounds – I think everyone seems to have been in a similar situation, must be a lot of shortass men around! Thanks for finding me :)

jo – Thanks and I guess we will se what happens
Elisabeth Hirsch – Yeah he would be an awesome friend but I can tell he’s interested in more than that and I’ve had major friend zone problems before with men…

-E- - Haha sorry…and don’t tell anyone but I was seeing a guy last year who was 5’8 and he was the best sex ever…shhhh

Shane Pilgrim – See it’s not just women! Men are heightist as well, I blame society not vanity…hehe

Little Miss Me said...

Okay whorebags I've put a poll up, so help me bloody decide! xxx

Kiss said...

OMG, I just took your poll and quite possibly have tied it! NO WAY. I say don't give him another chance, you probably won't get over the height thing! I tried it - it's bullshit. It's something you have to consider and look at EVERY TIME you see HIM. Like you said, he just ain't and will not be getting any damn taller. Onto the next (taller) one! x :)

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