Am I worried? Hell no! Right now I'm just really fucking amused with him!
Sent: Wed, 29 JunOkay this one does concern me a little...he really needs to start reading my blog posts, wednesday's would have been extremely helpful. Doesn't he know I write an online dating blog!?
Subject: have you...
...ever tried an australian kiss?
If he was a proper stalker he would put more effort in! Mrs. Pickle said that she has a magnet on her fridge: "technically he is not a stalker until after he catches you" so honestly this dude should try and find out where I live, kidnap my pet unicorn Barry then hold him hostage until I agree to jump on his penis (stalker dudes not Barrys). Now that would grab my attention. I doubt he has even gone to the lengths of what Arlequín suggested i.e. that "he probably spent hours making up a 'you' wallpaper, complete with fade in/out pics from your profile and suitably romantic songs" he is a lazy bastard to be completely honest. No wonder I haven't replied.
Sent: Fri, 1 JulClearly he believes being a kinky little shit is more my taste, I'm starting to think I should change my profile, I must look like some kind of nymphomaniac, if this poetic dreamworld moustache man thinks I'm a whore then it must be true!
Subject: if you...
...don't start talking i'm going to have to spank you.
From: ****Ahh shit he caught me! How does he know! I've played it so cool yet clearly my animal lust is still raging through my silent ignorance towards him, damn!
Subject: I just...
...can't get rid of you can i? I think you have a crush on me.
I've got to the point where I'm incredibly tempted to reply, just so I can see his reaction although I'm worried his balls may blow up in shocked excitement...